The thing with authenticity is that its reward comes in the form of the work – and being authentic really is work. It’s addressing all parts of yourself, regardless of how they are perceived (by ourselves and others). It’s giving attention to the areas that you maybe feel are harder to love, doing the inner work and addressing those core wounds to ensure that they don’t hold you back from your soul’s purpose.
My own core wound is rejection. Though a legitimate development from childhood trauma, I learned that, if I allowed that core wound to run the show; to fester and grow, it would sabotage my every move and prevent me from living a life of authenticity and alignment; a life on my terms. And for a while, it did; since I believed that I would always be rejected, I couldn’t align with what I was meant to do and I’d sabotage my efforts through fear. It cost me relationships in which I would reject them before they had the chance to reject me. Even when relationships naturally ended, those same feelings still arose and I would close off my heart to loving anybody else. It also affected career opportunities in which I would feel so misaligned with what was being offered. So I had to knuckle down and do the work.
‘…the answers were within me all along…’
From coaches to therapists, retreats to plant medicine, I have quite literally travelled the world looking externally for “answers” when, as cliché as it may sound, the answers were within me all along; I just had to have the strength to listen to them. I have consistently focused on doing that inner work for many years now – and I know it’s a journey that I’ll be on for the rest of my life. You see, that’s the thing with inner work; just when you think you’ve gone as deep as you can go, another element or aspect reveals itself and you learn even more about who you really are. It’s liberating, difficult and empowering all at once.
‘…be willing to look inwards…’
I’ve explored the energetic, physical, mental and emotional modalities of who I am – and not only do I feel that it’s made me more authentic but I also believe that it’s made me a better coach, therapist, consultant and healer. It’s why my courses, 1-2-1s and other offerings work consistently regardless of the issues being addressed – because the work always takes you back to the self and encourages you to look inward. To be clear, I do not believe that you must have mastered all elements of the self in order to help others (if that was the case, I don’t think a single person on this planet would be able to help someone else!) – but what I do believe is that you have to be willing to look inwards and consistently take the (often difficult) steps to better understanding yourself. Failure to do so will see through suppression, your psyche projecting that suppressed aspect onto every situation to get your attention and resolve, meaning you will continue to attract clients, relationships, etc. that simply reflect those same core wounds – and you’ll find yourself trying to heal theirs without having even addressed your own (which many coaches, therapists and healers do without even realising).
Though at times difficult and even painful, the rewards of doing the inner work are so worth it. I’ve learned that my own core wound of rejection is actually only perceived rejection and lack of alignment, which has allowed me to live more authentically, fully and joyfully. I now understand that rejection is merely a story we tell ourselves to affirm the belief we have that we aren’t enough just as we are. When in actual fact, rejection is simply a redirection to something more aligned with our needs. It also means I go ‘whole-ass’ with everything I do and, yes, that’s exactly my definition of living an authentic life!
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